Have you ever given a gift that was blatantly unappreciated?

I found one of those pivotal bible verses calligraphed onto a plaque I thought perfect for a friend. She struggles with depression. LOVE NEVER FAILS, hanging on her wall might be exactly what she needs to coax her into a brighter future. Maybe if she loved others more…she could be a happier person.

That was two years ago. Today those words sit unwrapped on the same shelf she placed it after I gave it to her. It’s been dusted under, shifted to the left and right, but the bow remains untied. With every visit that plaque glares at me. I’m reaching the point where I just want it back. Just give me the present—I’ll find a better use for it. 

During our latest visit I got snippy with her about a subject she brought up from a hundred years ago. And this morning I said a prayer to God I’d scribbled straight from scripture: May I rejoice and weep with others. 

It occurred to me why my friend doesn’t bother to open her gift—why a beautiful truth, despite the fact it’s wrapped in cellophane and recycled ribbon—still means zilch to her. Because she feels worthless inside. Why would you give a gift to someone you hate? Especially when that someone is you.

I’m returning to her house with a better gift. One I believe she can genuinely use. An apology, and homemade pumpkin muffins—because they are her favorite and she’s my favorite and I need to remember giving myself to a friend increases their value. Didn’t He tell us the greatest gift of all was His own self?

I wonder how many more kindnesses God has bestowed upon me that I have not bothered to pursue. Rich things, I’ve counted as optional, or worse—useless, because deep down I couldn’t see myself worth the effort.